I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
