I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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