I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
