you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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