it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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