WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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