Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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