Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
