out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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