love makes seman taste better
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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