Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
