Me too!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
