i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
