why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
