Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
