Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
