it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
