I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
