I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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