Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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