I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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