I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
