benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
