she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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