If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Four minutes until I can fart!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
