You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
