Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
this hospital has no fireball
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
