well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Mom said you looked used
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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