so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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