found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
so much tequila, so little girl.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
