I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
