It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
