break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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