I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
