Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
