Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
last night I used snow as a chaser
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
