McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
