Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
