You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
