I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
