Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
