is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
