I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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