Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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