I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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