bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
