so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
