He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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