last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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