Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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