wake up i wanna do it froggy style
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
