He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
